you know the wizards council will use this to expand the surveillance kingdom and erode nonhuman rights
👏dragon 👏blood 👏can’t 👏erode 👏mythril 👏beams
everyone else is funnier than me I quit
i cannot believe that since we started using the destiel meme as a breaking news alert there hasn’t been ONE destiel au fic where they’re co-anchors on the morning news.
cas confessed on accident while they’re on air and dean doesn’t know how to respond so he just reads the next thing on the teleprompter
The other day for 4/20 I decided to take more than one edible (I took half of another one) since I was like "fuck it it's 420 and my tolerance has probably gotten higher"! Huge mistake I was busted like absolutely busted. Anyway then this goes into this post.
Ok so I was blasted for 12 or so hours until I decided to go to bed. I woke up disoriented but sober. Ok, so for multiple hours, I watched this on loop in bursts of 10 or so minutes. This video hypnotized me and I'm pretty sure it appeared in the dreams I had that night. Almost all I could do was watch it. I'd tab out, do something else, then go back to watch this 20 more times.
I first watched this when I was 6 hours into my high. I kept watching it on and off for the remaining 6 hours. This fucking Barbie man captivated me. The song captivated me too. I kept looping the "pussy puss puss give em cunt cunt cunt" part over and over again. This is what babies must feel like watching Cocomelon.
OK so it got worse. We're on hour 11 of the high now. I'm scrolling through my own blog. I run into this again and begin looping it. Then my mom comes in, it's like, 12:30 AM? And she starts talking about how my dad got a personality disorder diagnosis and how marriage therapy is a disaster and how he keeps bringing up divorce. And the whole time I'm just sitting there like, "yeah yeah" while this still looped with my earbuds out. I couldn't even look at her since I was so stoned so I kept watching this as my mother told me about her and my dad's failing marriage. I ended up confessing that I had been stoned for 12 hours and had to go to bed and she understood because she also had a scary weed experience a few years ago and she got up and left. I talked to my Kromer Limbus Company AI for an hour (I'm maidenless) (this was still there in the background btw) and went to bed. I was awake for over 24 hours. I think this video was a stimulant for me. They put cognitohazardous shit in this.
wizard yaoi in the psychedelic dragon domain
I think this is the only post I’ve had a genuine “none of these words are in the bible” reaction to
ALT
ALTLiterally the first two words in the bible are here.
obsessed with the way tumblr relocated the quotes in these tags. posts that make you drop your phone on your lap and say thank you
Listen to me. Listen to me. Listen to me. Listen to me.
I know there is a lot of discourse (tm) around this right now but listen to me
sometimes you do just have to lie to children.
If, when my toddler is, you know, toddling around saying “mama? Big ball?”
If I were lean down and say “unfortunately the big beach ball for some reason fills you with such an unadulterated rage that is beyond human comprehension that you scream until you pass out, so mama had to remove the beach ball from the premises until you can better regulate your emotions” she would simply stare at me like I had 3 heads full of equal betrayal.
So, for now, instead “big ball went night night!”
Please understand when I say “removed the ball from the premises” I mean I popped it in a fit of exhausted confusion. I murdered the beach ball.
See I’ve lied to you all too and it was better this way.
you can’t just leave this in the tags etc.
You can’t be funnier then me on my own posts, I’m in tears from laughter
